Edward is the main character of Spatula Madness. He is a Spatula Soldier and a former acountant. He lives in the suburbs with a stranger who frequently visits.
Edward is very friendly and has a strong sense of pride. This shows when he tells Drake that he wouldn't give up what he was to be a little bit safer.
The video opens with an intense battle between Spatula Soldiers and Spoon Monsters. General Peterson is killed by a spoon, and then a soldier named Edward is also.
Then, it flashes back to two weeks earlier, when Edward is being randomly fired from his accounting job. On his way home, he meets a hobo who tries to sell him a Dolphin Clock Thing, which tells him that it is his destiny to defeat the Spoons.
The next moring, Edward receives a mysterious phone call telling him to join the United Spatula Secret Resistance. So, he says goodbye to the stranger in his house and leaves for the army.
The films fast forwards to a brief conversation between Edward's former co-workers about his death.
It is then revealed that Edward neither went to Heaven or Hell, but to a strange Limbo that he desires to escape, though the French Spatula constantly tells him it is impossible.
He succeeds on his third attempt when he falls and lands on Max , a deformed spatula who installed a musical light show into his head to play when he talks about his miserable life. Max then drugs Edward, and takes him to the lair of Dr. Drake, a deranged scientist who desires to turn all Spatulas into Spoons in order to stop the war.
While Edward is asleep, The Hobo Spatula contacts him through The Dolphin Clock Thing, and the two have a brief conversation.
When he wakes up, Edward tells Dr. Drake that he can't turn Spatulas into Spoons, but Drake doesn't listen. Edward then shoots Max and the machine, causing it to explode, turning Drake into a group of dedicated Scientologists who can multiply at will.
The video concludes with Edward telling the stranger in his house about his adventures, and reveals that he somehow defeated Drake.