The Afterlife is France

The Afterlife is France is a song sung by The French Spatula in Spatula Madness.

Lyrics
The French Spatula: Hello monsier, I welcome you,

You are in New France!

We drink and laugh each day in this

Country of romance.

Here have some cheese, pea soup, some wine,

Or a nice soufle.

Come follow me, there's much to see,

While you're in New France.

Edward: Why on Earth don't these chicks ever shave?

Oh why oh why must such a place like this be my grave?

I must now find a way to leave this land-

The French Spatula: Not a chance!

You are stuck here for eternity, stuck here in New France!

We surrendered to Italtians, and twice to Germany.

But eventually they left-

Edward: Because your country smells like pee.

The French Spatula: So maybe we can't win a war,

But hey, we make great wine!

Here try a glass, it's good I swear,

The taste is quite divine.

We know the latest fashions,

And our art is quite insane.

We love to hang in coffee shops

And talk about our pain.

The world may think us snotty,

But that's also very wrong.

If you'd admit that we're superior,

I'm sure we'd get along.

Edward: I can't stand being here,

I want to cry.

If I hear "Oh ho ho" just one more time

I'll surely die!

I'm sure that France would be quite nice

if they kill off the French!

The French Spatula: Well you are stuck here for a zillion years

So get used to the stench.

There’s no second chance, the afterlife is France!

Edward: Come on, I’m sure there has to be a way!

The French Spatula: You’re stuck in France, so why not dance? There’s no need to stay faché.

Your edgy stance, your hateful glance, don’t try to go astray

Edward: Gotta find myself a chance, find a way to bail in France

The French Spatula: Take your hope and throw it away!

You have to stay for your afterlife and say,

"Oh ho!"