Poketmans Cards

"And as a bonus, it comes with one of nine Poketmans cards. That's right, Poketmans! Gotta' catch all those Poketmans."

~ Jason Steele

Poketmans cards are an implied parody of the popular trading card game Pokémon created by Jason Steele.

History of Poketmans
Perhaps one of the first signs of the eventual creation of Poketmans was the "Filmcow on Patreon!" video which was released March 29, 2014. In this advertisement, a creature by the name of Patreon was depicted as a play on the "eon" suffix of several official Pokémon characters. This creature has yet to appear in any subsequent videos.

The following year on October 8, 2015, FilmCow released a book for sale on their Etsy shop titled "The Ghost House Guide to Ghosts." Each copy of the book came with a Pokémon card and a pog, which incited a follow up video only two days later clarifying questions about the new book to which Jason responded: "All of the questions are about the Pokémon card. Yes, each copy of the book comes with a Pokémon card, and a pog. Yes, if you order two copies, you get two Pokémon cards, and two pogs. No, none of the Pokémon cards will be energy cards. Promising a super cool Pokémon card and then sending an energy card is the sort of unforgivable thing only a ghost would do." He then went on to surmise he "should have written a Pokémon book." Later in the month on October 29, a follow up video titled "The Ghost House Book is now on Amazon" was released citing the success of the book with fan photos of the Pokémon card and pog, but also disappointment in the fact that the Amazon sold copies of the book would not contain these items.

List of Poketmans
Series 1 of Poketmans cards was released on December 1, 2016. One of nine Poketmans card was included with every purchase of the storybook "Marshmallow People and the Suffocating Despair of Existence."


 * Aquorse
 * 500 HP (Horse Power)
 * TYPE: Horse? and Crab? and Giraffe, maybe? and Water
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Probably has some sort of water based attacks, or maybe some horse attacks. It has giraffe-like head bump things, maybe those do something?
 * WEAK TO: Questions. Criminal investigations.


 * Dalphinshu
 * 8 RAS (Ribbon Arm Sheen)
 * TYPE: Dolphin and Shoe and Electric
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Is both a dolphin and a shoe at the same time, confusing the enemy and drawing the attention and concern of the science community.
 * WEAK TO: Ecological disasters. Mud.


 * Dohrknobis
 * 200 KL (Knob Luster)
 * TYPE: Door and Knob and maybe Ground I guess
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Able to swing their door part open and provide a useless doorway for anyone wanting to walk through (which is no one.) Face can grow and shrink in upsetting ways.
 * WEAK TO: Axes. Loneliness.


 * Mr. Guy
 * 10 DWP (Don't Worry Points)
 * TYPE: Regular and Guy and Normal
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Can stand still for weeks at a time. Sometimes they just show up in a room and you're not sure how long they've been there. They shed their ears and grow new ones, like, all the time.
 * WEAK TO: Unknown. Rocks, probably.


 * Duckatsau
 * 2 RSE (Radical Star Eyes)
 * TYPE: Duck and Cat and Saw and Electric
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Can bite with the fury of a duck, scratch with the ferocity of a cat, and cut through pretty much anything with the strength of a regular extremely dangerous power saw.
 * WEAK TO: Echoes. Sudden loud noises. OSHA.


 * Fridgabug
 * 80 ESR (Energy Star Rating)
 * TYPE: Bug and Refrigerator and Water
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Can store perishable foods at cold temperatures, ensuring that they stay safe for consumption for longer periods of time. Their pincers can also violently snap off limbs.
 * WEAK TO: Go-Gurt. They just don’t like Go-Gurt.


 * Garbyrd
 * 100 GBT (Gross Bird Trash)
 * TYPE: Garbage Can and Bird and Trash and Smells
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Can throw trash on unsuspecting innocent victims who were just trying to have a nice day and escape the horrors of the world for a single moment but no that was too much to ask.
 * WEAK TO: Wedding rice. TOO much garbage.


 * Banandogg
 * 75 WL (Weird Legs)
 * TYPE: Banana and Dog and… Caterpillar?
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: They’re a dog and a banana, which should be cute and disarming, but there’s something inherently upsetting about those caterpillar legs. Thus, their only ability is loyalty and hope.
 * WEAK TO: Being too close to other bananas.


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Series 2 of Poketmans cards was released on June 7, 2018. One of nine "brand new never before available Poketmans card" was included with the Etsy edition of each copy of either novelettes "Jessica the Wizard Eats a Third Horse" or "Well, I was Murdered in a Lake Again."


 * Bleakachu
 * -10 SPH (Smiles Per Hour)
 * TYPE: Water and Sad and Sadder and Saddest
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: They are very good at art but have a hard time getting projects started. They read a lot, and are good at finding things that dropped on the floor, where they spend most of their time.
 * WEAK TO: Despair. Hope. Being alone.


 * Eyeangle
 * 14 EB (Eye Balls)
 * TYPE: Triangle and Fairy and Illuminati
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Is able to see many things at once, such as many flowers, or many bugs. They are then able to put their big gross tendrils on those things, before giggling and floating away.
 * WEAK TO: Pointy objects. Solar eclipses.

The following Poketmans have yet to be determined what series they belong to as FilmCow does not provide an official set list or specify outside of ones visually shown when and which Poketmans have been released in their videos.


 * Briefsqueak
 * 150 BP (Business Points)
 * TYPE: Rat and Snake and Briefcase and Business
 * SPECIAL ABILITY: Is some sort of rat snake in a briefcase, which gives them a huge business advantage. They are an extremely effective deal maker, but always choke at the end and ruin their career.
 * WEAK TO: Bad deals. Good deals. Regular deals.


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